Gastroparesis Awareness Month

Ever heard of gastroparesis? Me either, until mid-October 2020 when my GI doctor’s nurse called me and said, “Your test results show you have gastroparesis.” Finally! After over a year of experiencing major stomach issues I had an answer.

From September 2019 through the day of my diagnosis, I’d been dealing with almost constant stomach pain, discomfort, bloating, feeling icky after eating (like having a very annoying headache all day long only in my stomach), or the feeling of being overfull for hours on end which was way beyond the “Oh I ate too much Thanksgiving dinner” feeling we often get at the holidays. I began paying attention to what I was eating and how it made me feel. I could never link the horrible feelings to any single food. I tried an elimination diet and discovered nothing. I finally figured out when I ate a normal sized meal, I’d get the overfull feeling that would last for HOURS. In fact, I remember wondering why I was feeling so full after eating a normal sized meal. By the time I saw a GI doctor I’d been successfully treated for H. Pylori, but I was still having major stomach issues.  The GI doctor did a comprehensive set of tests which led to that fateful phone call from the nurse.

What exactly is gastroparesis? It is when the stomach is paralyzed. The movement of food from my stomach to the rest of my digestive tract is not happening as it should. The reason I feel full after eating a small amount of food or overfull for hours after eating a normal amount of food, is because the food I’ve eaten is still sitting in my stomach.  

Symptoms: People experience a wide range of symptoms with gastroparesis. I’ve put a check mark by the ones I regularly deal with. Since Sept. 2019, 90-95% of my days have involved having one or more of the symptoms listed below. On a scale of 1-10 (1 very little pain/10 horrible pain), most days are around a 4. The symptom is there and noticeable, but I can handle it. I try not to complain, but if you ever notice I’m more quiet than usual it’s because I’m not feeling well.

👉Nausea

Vomiting

👉Feeling full after eating a few bites

👉Stomach pain

👉Bloating

Acid reflux

👉Lack of appetite

Weight loss

Malnutrition

Little known disease: After much reading, I’ve come to realize this is an uncommon disease and many doctors, including GI doctors, haven’t dealt with it and have no answers for their patients.

Vagus nerve: In simple terms, it’s a nerve that runs from the brain to the abdomen. Part of its function is to stimulate peristalsis (contractions that move food through the digestive system). People with gastroparesis have damage to their vagus nerve.

Idiopathic: Definition – unknown cause. My case of gastroparesis is idiopathic. My doctor and I have no idea whatsoever why I suddenly developed gastroparesis.

No known cure: Gastroparesis has no known cure. Medications – there are a few, but the side effects can be bad. Many people develop these side effects, so meds are not a great option. Gastric pacemaker - electrical wires that go to the stomach and send impulses to stimulate the stomach after eating. Some people have success with these pacemakers, but they don’t appear to be a common treatment. Feeding tubes – used when a person cannot eat at all due to nausea or pain or when someone cannot keep any food down. Dietary changes – the most common form of treatment.

Chronic illness: A chronic illness is one that requires ongoing medical attention or limits activities of daily living or both. I now have an uncurable chronic illness. It will require ongoing medical attention and I have had to make significant changes not only in my diet, but in some of the activities in my daily life. I’m learning to live as stress free as possible because stress makes the symptoms worse. I still exercise and lift weights, but I’ve scaled back. My workouts are shorter and less intense. I try to relax more and I’m definitely making sure I get more sleep.

Flare: A period of time when a person with gastroparesis has significant symptoms which affect their daily life. I have flares that usually last 7-10 days. I have no idea when these flares will happen, what causes them, nor how long they will last. During flares, I do my best to get through my work day and then go home and go to bed.

Gastroparesis Diet: There is a set of dietary guidelines for gastroparesis. When I first looked at the guidelines I was shocked and realized my eating habits were about to change A LOT. The short list of “can eat” foods is: broths and non-cream based soups; fruit juices, bananas, canned peaches & pears, applesauce; potoatoes and carrots (both with no skins), beets, mushrooms, and summer squash; white bread, white rice, pasta, cream of wheat, low fat crackers; low fat or no fat dairy; eggs, 2 Tbps peanut butter, poutry, fish, and lean ground beef. I ate some of these foods, but I also ate a lot of fruits and vegetables which were now off limits. Anything with fiber is on the “no” list as it is too hard to digest. When I saw my doctor three months after my diagnosis I had been following the gastroparesis diet religiously. My symptoms were reduced by 90%; I still had daily symptoms, but they weren’t nearly as bad. He said I could start eating some of the foods on the “avoid these foods list with a trial and error approach. “If you eat it and it causes worse symptoms then you know to avoid that food.” I’ve discovered some “never eating those foods again in my life” foods. It’s not a fun process, but since I don’t want a bland diet the rest of my life I’m willing to use the “trial and error” approach.

Appetite change: The craziest thing is how much my appetite has changed since developing gastroparesis. The other day in class my students were asking questions during the “Interview a Teacher” activity. They are allowed to ask one personal question. One group asked, “What is your favorite food?” Two years ago, I would have said, “Watermelon.” Since developing gastroparesis, I rarely eat watermelon. It has a different taste and doesn’t even sound appetizing. My favorite candy used to be the holiday Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Those have zero appeal for me now. I can down some Milky Way Caramel candy bars though. My favorite foods now are fajita chicken/Mexican rice/queso combo, lo mein, chicken fried rice, and ice cream.

Things I have figured out:

1. How to handle a flare (constant/significant stomach pain): a) to ease the pain apply hard pressure to the upper left area of my stomach. I’ve figured out how to do this while lying in bed, b) do 2-3 days of liquid only diet consisting of ginger-ale, Body Armor drinks, and chicken broth then transition to soft foods for 2-3 days consisting of scrambled eggs, toast, canned chicken, and chicken and noodle or chicken and rice soup, ice cream, Icees, c. in the following days, slowly add in lunch meat, rice, noodles, etc.
2. As soon as I eat a solid form of ANY food (safe food or not) my stomach will react in some way within 30 minutes. Most of the time I experience an “icky” feeling stomach. I don’t really know how to describe this except my stomach just feels like it has something in it that shouldn’t be there and it feels “icky”.
3. I feel my absolute best when I have an iced or hot latte in the morning, and avoid all solid food until suppertime. On the days I do this my stomach feels normal until I eat supper. The downside to this is by day three I’m really tired and have no energy due to lack of food. Ah, the catch-22. Eat and feel icky, but have energy or don’t eat and feel good but have no energy.

Never Too Old To Learn - My Journey With ETF (Eating The Food)

During the last year I have had a transformation. I've been pretty quiet about it not sharing much of my story because honestly I was kind of embarrassed by it. I thought if I tried to explain it, people would think things like, "Oh boy, she is weird!" or "Wow, she's not normal. Everyone already knows what she's just now learning!" In all reality, there are a lot of people who do understand where I was at the end of 2013 and where I have arrived at the end of 2014, and these people are the ones who helped me get to the place I am right now. Most of these people are men and women I have interacted with online via three private facebook groups I'm a part of and from some wonderfully intelligent people who have blogs I read on a somewhat regular basis. Most of the credit for my transformation goes to them and the ideas they shared with me via facebook posts/comments and blog posts. However, some of the credit for my transformation is the result of my work in embracing their ideas and implementing them into my lifestyle until they became second-nature and I didn't have to think about them.

So you are probably wondering, "What is this transformation she is talking about?" Very simply stated it is: I HAVE A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD! You are probably wondering what it means to have a healthy relationship with food. First, let me share a little about my past. I don't ever remember a time that I didn't consider myself overweight. From the time that I got married 27 years ago I have always been on a quest to lose weight, sometimes with more concerted effort than other times. Even when I looked my best one year ago I was still struggling to lose 10 more pounds because I had a specific number on the scale I thought I needed to achieve. Through the last 27 years, I've tried a lot of different diets. I've tried the grapefruit diet, the cabbage soup diet, Best Loser diet, carb cycling, Paleo and more. The thing about all of these diets is that they involve restricting certain foods. Regardless of which diet I was on, the one thing I always did was stress and obsess about food. I obsessed about what I could and couldn't eat, which caused stress. When a diet said to not eat xyz, I didn't eat xyz, for a period of time, then reality would hit and I would not only eat xyz, but I would binge on it. In my new healthy relationship with food, the one thing I NEVER do is restrict foods. When I say I have a healthy relationship with food this is what I mean:

1. Food is fuel for my body, there are no good or bad foods, just fuel.
2. Foods no longer have labels like "healthy foods" or "junk food." Some foods are more nutrient dense than other foods and that is all there is to it.
3. Unless I have a medical condition (which I don't) there is NO reason to restrict any one certain food or food group. At 51 years of age I no longer restrict any foods. I allow myself to eat what I want, when I want it.
4. Because I no longer restrict foods, I no longer binge on certain foods. I used to binge on sweet foods, as a matter of fact I avoided keeping certain foods in my house because I would binge on them. Now I keep cookies, ice cream, candy, chips, dip, etc. in the house. When I want to eat it, I do. Does that mean I eat it all the time or every day, no, not at all, just when I want it, which is not all the time or every day, just once in awhile.
5. Due to #3 and #4 I no longer stress/obsess about food. When I see cookies, I think, "It's a cookie," not "OMG, it's a cookie, I shouldn't eat it, but I really want it. What should I do?" After a few minutes of this I would eat not just one cookie but four or five cookies and then I'd berate myself for eating them. Sometimes I'd even spend extra time exercising because I ate those stupid cookies. Now if I want the cookie I eat it, but many times I find that I don't really want it so I don't eat it. This is a very novel feeling for someone who has a pattern of restricting/binging. During the weeks of the Christmas holiday I think I ate a total of four frosted sugar cookies. In the past I would have eaten a couple of dozen frosted sugar cookies. I would have had at least four a day. Am I restricting myself from eating them? No! I can eat a frosted sugar cookie whenever I want one and that is why I'm not "binging" on them. I know during Christmas and and even when Christmas is over I can have a frosted sugar cookie whenever I want one so I don't have to binge on them during the holiday. In the past, knowing I wouldn't allow myself to have them once Christmas is over is why I would binge on them during the holiday. Oh, the peace of mind this way of dealing with food gives me!!!
6. I like a lot of nutrient dense foods so I include them in my daily meals, which means most of the time I am now eating what people consider "healthy" food. I guess the one good thing about some of the crazy diets I've tried is that I have tried a lot of nutrient dense foods that I probably never would have tried before. Not only have I tried them, but I have found a lot of them that I like. Homemade sweet potato chips and baked kale are two of my favorites! I should eat them and eat them often since I really like them.
7. I have something called a BMR and a TDEE (and so do you). My BMR is my basal metabolic rate and it is the number of calories my body needs to survive if I do absolutely nothing all day long. My TDEE is my total daily energy expenditure and it is the number of calories that I need to function based on the activity level I maintain.There are many online calculators that can help you figure your TDEE. The one I use can be found here: TDEE Calculator 
8. Many diets suggest a woman eat around 1200 calories per day to lose weight. This is a ridiculously low number of calories. In order to lose weight I know I need to eat around 300-500 calories per day below my TDEE. If I want to lose weight and I'm not, it is because I'm not eating below my TDEE. 
9. I do not have to spend countless hours doing cardio to burn calories. I do need to do some kind of strength workout (bodyweight, dumbbells, barbells or any combination of them) two to three times a week (approximately 30 minutes) to build and keep muscle and I do need to do some sort of fun type of movement activity that I enjoy (approximately 30-45 minutes) three to four times a week.
10. The number on the scale doesn't matter. Last year at this time I liked the way I looked and felt, but still wanted to lose another 10 pounds to reach a certain magical weight. Through the process of getting to this healthy relationship with food, I gained some weight. My goal is to get back into the clothes I was wearing a year ago. It doesn't matter what the scale says when I fit into those clothes again, when I get there I'll be satisfied with "that place" and I will eat and exercise to keep me at "that place" regardless of the number on the scale.
11. Losing weight and achieving a healthy body are not things that can be done quickly nor is there ever an end point to it. There might be an end point in that I can achieve the look I want and get my body to a healthy state, but if I don't continue the process that got me to that point I won't stay at that point. That is why it is SO IMPORTANT to find something (eating and exercise) that is sustainable for a lifetime. The crazy diets are not sustainable, but ETF is. Crazy amounts of exercise are not sustainable, but 30 minutes of strength work two to three times per week with some fun cardio activity three to four times a week are sustainable.
12. Most of the "weight loss" schemes that we see and get sucked into have NO factual scientific research based evidence showing they actually produce the results they show us. All of the evidence they give us is anecdotal (not necessarily true or reliable, because based on personal accounts rather than facts or research). I have learned to look for factual scientific research based evidence when considering implementing new ways of doing things in my life.
13. Do what works for you. I've often heard you should eat 5-6 small meals per day and you should eat every 3 hours to keep your insulin levels stable. That doesn't work for me. What does work is eating 3 meals per day at 7:00am, 11:30am and 6:00pm. I've done this for years and I've lost weight just eating three meals a day. It works for me so I should keep doing it. I have also heard you should eat something before you workout, or you should eat protein within 30 minutes after your workout. I absolutely cannot eat anything before working out and it's usually an hour after my workout when I get around to eating, and I don't necessarily eat protein. I've lost weight doing this, it works for me so I should keep doing it. No matter what you hear, if you are doing something and it is working you should keep doing it regardless of what you hear that you should be doing. DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOU!!!

Okay, in #10 above, I revealed that getting to this place of having a healthy relationship with food caused me to gain weight. You might think I would be upset about that. I am not. It is such an awesome feeling to not be thinking about food all the time that the extra pounds I gained getting to this mental state were worth it. I would much rather be the size and shape I am now with my current mental state than the size and shape I was last year when I was obsessing about food all the time. That being said, I am not satisfied with the size and shape I am. I do want to get to what I see as my practical ideal size/weight. This was a size/weight where I liked the way I looked and I was able to participate in all of the fun activities I enjoy. I have continued to workout during the last year, but I don't put in the hours and hours of cardio that I used to. However, that is not why I gained the weight I gained over the last year. The weight gain is a result of something called ETF. ETF was an important process I had to go through to get to the place I am right now. ETF stands for "Eating The Food." Eating the food is just that, eating the food, any and all foods. Imagine this, you have been restricting foods for years because of various diets you've been on, then all of a sudden you say, "I'm done. I'm never restricting foods again. I'm going to eat what I want, when I want it!" That's what I said to myself and that's exactly what I did, I began "eating the food." When most people do this, they do exactly what I did, they go a little crazy and "eat a lot of the food." The reason we all do this is because we have given ourselves a freedom we have not experienced in a long long time. An example of what I did was this, I had not had Pop Tarts for years because they were a forbidden food. When I allowed myself the freedom to ETF I ate a package of Pop Tarts every morning for breakfast. I did that for a month, but eventually I quit eating the Pop Tarts because I no longer craved them. I finally quenched my Pop Tart fix. But here is the awesome thing, I will never binge on Pop Tarts again. I keep a box of Pop Tarts in the pantry at home and a box of them in my snack drawer at work. I haven't had a Pop Tart in over three months even though they are readily available. I haven't had Pop Tarts in over three months because I haven't wanted them. However, when the day arises that I want a package of Pop Tarts I will eat them and I will enjoy them with no guilt because Pop Tarts are just food that fuels my body. There is nothing evil about Pop Tarts!

Back to the reason I gained weight while I was implementing ETF into my life. Pop Tarts were not the only food I had been restricting for years so they were not the only food I was reintroducing in my life. Overall, I was consuming quantities of food that were above my TDEE on a daily basis. Weight loss/weight gain is about calories in/calories out, and during my first few months of ETF I was taking in more calories than I was burning and this led to weight gain. For the last three to four months I've maintained my weight. Just before the holidays I felt like I was really ready for the next step of my ETF journey and that was to eat 300-500 calories below my TDEE. However, with the holidays approaching I didn't want to worry about tracking calories. It is hard enough for me to track calories during regular times I sure didn't want to try to do that when I knew I would be eating holiday foods that I don't typically eat so I held off on that until after the holidays. Now that the holidays are over I will continue the process of ETF (eating any and all foods when I desire them) along with the process of eating 300-500 calories below my TDEE. In order to do this I will have to track my food for a few weeks. I do not especially like tracking my food, but in order to get a feel for how much food I can eat, initially I will have to track.

I think the reason that I tried all those crazy diets during the last several years was because they offered hope of quick weight loss. Who doesn't want to lose weight and get healthy quickly? We all would like that, but time has shown again and again, most people who try those crazy diets aren't successful for the long term. I now realize that I have to eat and exercise in ways that will get me to my goals, but will also be sustainable for me for the rest of my life. I have found that with ETF. As mentioned previously, my goal is to fit into my clothes I was wearing last year at this time. Using the TDEE calculator I posted in the link I shared above I found the following information:

1. My BMR is 1553 calories - this is what I have to eat daily to sustain my life (not starve myself)
2. My TDEE is 2511 calories - this is what I have to eat daily to maintain my current weight based on my current activity level

In order to lose weight I need to eat 300-500 calories below my TDEE so I will plan on eating 2000 calories per day. It may seem like 2000 calories is a lot to eat and expect to lose weight, but I am an active person. I need to fuel my body. If I followed the advice from a lot of diet plans and only consumed 1200 calories per day I'd be starving my body and I probably wouldn't have the energy to do all the things I do. Here's another thing I learned over the few months about ETF, TDEE and tracking calories. I don't have to be exact. I'm a perfectionist so my nature would be to eat 2000 calories every day and I'd get all freaked out if I ate 2300 calories one day. However, this doesn't have to be exact. If I can average 2000 calories per day for the week then I'll be okay. One day I might eat 2300 calories, but another day I might eat 1800 and another day I might eat 1950. As long as it averages out and I don't ever fall below my BMR of 1553 then I will be using a strategy that will help me achieve my goal of losing weight and achieving a healthier body. My long range goal is to lose enough weight to fit into my clothes from last year. I could pick a lot of strategies to help me achieve that goal including but not limited to tracking calories, drinking eight glasses of water a day, eating 150 grams of protein per day, eating protein at every meal, doing strength workouts three times a week, doing fun cardio workouts four to five times a week, eating more vegetables, getting eight hours of sleep every night, etc. One reason many people fail at trying to do something new is because they jump in with both feet and try to change so much of what they are doing that they crash and burn after a short period of time. In order to avoid that I am picking two strategies to focus on for the next four weeks. I will

1. Track my calories aiming for an average of 2000 per day
2.  Eat more vegetables every day, aiming for 3 servings of veggies per day

I will try to check in at the end of January with an update on my progress on these two strategies, but I make no promises :-).

I would like to share some links to the facebook pages and blogs that have been the source information that allowed me to achieve this transformation.

Facebook Group: Eating The Food
This is a private facebook group in which you have to request to join. If you do join, your ideas about food/eating may be challenged. I would say to give them a chance, read through the posts/comments for a few months before making up your mind about staying in/leaving the group. This group is not the only source of information, but it is the major source of information that led to my transformation of ideas about food.
Blog: Nerd Fitness
This is my favorite blog. It has posts that are so practical with regards to applying new strategies to your life, both health and fitness wise, but also in all aspects of your life that if you implement just one or two strategies every couple of months you will "level up" your life (make positive improvements). You do not have to be a nerd to get some good out of this site!
Facebook Page: James Fell - Body for Wife
Blog: Go Kaleo
Blog: Lift Like A Girl/Nia Shanks

Just Part Of My Journey

As part of my health and fitness journey a few things have changed over the last few months. Some day I might share about them, but right now I'm still kind of absorbing some of the changes and acclimating to a somewhat new lifestyle. Since some of this is new to me I hired a coach to help me out (it's kind of a long story and at some point I'll share how I found this coach).

My coach had this plan for me for this week:

Try to increase my protein intake. Here are the ways we decided I could do this

1. Have a protein drink with a meal
2. Eat cottage cheese
3. Eat my Greek yogurt/sugar-free vanilla pudding mixture (1 & 1/2 cup Greek yogurt, 1/2 to 3/4 cup milk, 1 pkg. sugar free pudding in the flavor of your choice) as a dessert

Do my strength workouts 2 times and do some body-weight work on Friday when I'm out of town.

Cardio (running or biking) for 30 minutes 5 times throughout the week - My coach doesn't think I'll need to keep this up indefinitely but we talked about how I am very sporadic with cardio work right now. For instance, last week I did a 20 mile (1 hour 45 minute) bike ride on Monday and didn't do anything else the rest of the week. For now we are focusing on getting some consistency going with cardio. My coach is working with me really well. I actually enjoy biking and running, but have gotten away from it. My coach isn't making me do anything I don't like.

Mobility work - I expressed my concern that I feel sore and tight a lot of the time and I really want to do some yoga. I like my 1 hour yoga classes I've gone to, but am not good about getting to them after I'm home for the evening so we decided I should aim for 3 - 15 minute yoga sessions this week.

Nutrition - track calories to see what the increase in protein is going to do to my overall calorie intake.

Sleep - this may be the hardest one to achieve - shut down all electronics (except tv) at 8:30. In bed at 9:00!

This may seem like a lot of changes, but it's not.

•  I did a stint of trying to increase protein and it was working, but I didn't like the meals I was eating so we just tweaked what I was doing so this isn't really new
• I have a solid foundation of strength work, usually getting in 3 workouts a week. 
• I've done the cardio work before but just kind of got away from it when I was focusing on strength work so I need to find a way to do both because I legitimately like both and feel like I'm missing out by only doing strength workouts. But I have to find a balance because I don't want to workout for hours on end.
• Mobility work - I'd consider this new as I haven't been consistent with this for a LONG time
• Tracking calories - I did this for a month, but stopped last week because I was super busy
• Sleep - I've done this before, but not recently. I would consider this new and probably the most important. I feel like everything else above would probably fall in place if I could simply accomplish the sleep goal!

So there it is, my plan for the week that my coach, with my input, worked out for me. Now I'm off to do some yoga!

Flylady To The Rescue: 51st year day 2

One of my quests at the beginning of 2014 was to reimplement the Flylady routines into my life. It hasn't been a total bust, because since the beginning of the year I speculate I've had about 6-7 weeks where I've consistently done my Flylady routines. That is far and above better than the last several years when I have had completed 0 weeks of Flylady routines.

Even though I haven't been consistent with the Flylady routines, my house is in much better shape with what I have done than it was before the first of the year. Now if I can just quit having those weeks when I feel like I'm too busy to do my routines life will be much better. It may sound crazy, but I am much calmer when my house is organized and clean. My goal for the coming week is to:

1. Do all of my Flydlady routines (swish/swipe bathrooms daily, clean hotspots, do a load of laundry, shine my kitchen sink, and deal with the mail) everyday.
2.  Do the Flylady Weekly Home Blessing (vacuum floors, sweep/mop hardwood floors, dust with feather duster, and change sheets) on Monday. I will not spend more than 1 hour on this task.
3. Work on my zone of the week which is the Master Bedroom and bathroom. During the zone cleaning I will detail clean and make my bedroom shine. I may not get it all done this week because I will only spend 10-15 minutes a day working in my zone, but I won't worry about what doesn't get done because next month I'll pick up right where I left off! Of course I'll edit Flylady's zone cleaning list to fit what works for my bedroom. I will not spend more than 1-2 hours on this for the entire week.

So this is what my bedroom looks like now:

A pile of clothes on the cedar chest that needs to be folded and put away and another pile of t-shirts I'm saving for a t-shirt quilt that need to be put in a box and stored somewhere. Also, shelves with sentimental items the boys made when they were in school...these shelves have not had a real dusting in 3 or 4 years.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 and

Two laundry baskets of clothes that need to be folded and put away! Yikes the laundry has taken over! A pile of pants on my dresser that I'm currently wearing. I need to clean out my drawers of pants that don't fit, store them away and put these pants in the drawers. Then there is the misc. stuff laying on the dresser that needs to be put away. The mirror also needs to be cleaned. I think if I have time I'll go through my jewelry (necklaces and bracelets) and get rid of the ones I haven't wore in the last year!

Fabulous Fifty-One

Today I am officially an old lady, at least for the next six months. Well, according to my husband I am, lol! You see I'm six months older than Gary so he always calls me his "old lady" especially during the six months when age wise I am one digit older than him.

Age has never been something that has bothered me. Thinking back the only time I ever thought twice about a birthday it didn't even revolve around my birthday. It was my oldest son's birthday and it didn't bother me, but it did kind of take me by surprise. The year A.J. turned 23 I remember thinking, "Oh my gosh, I have a 23 year old kid. I can't have a 23 year old child, I don't feel like I'm old enough to have a kid that old!"

To me age is just a number. Life happens and I just roll with it!

Not too long ago I was with a group of women and we were just talking about some random things. One of the ladies said during the last year she took a picture every day to have a record of what her life was like that year. That got me to thinking. I have been wanting to blog more, but somehow I just don't get around to blogging like I want to. So for my fabulous 51st year I am going to try to write my thoughts down every day. I'm making no promises, that I'll actually blog daily, but I'm hoping to at least make a short note on the calender about the events of the day or my thoughts and at some point during the week get it in print in my blog. We'll see what happens.

If you'd like to see a recap of my life in photos take a peek at my facebook photo album My First 51 Years. Anyone can view this album.

H.U.M.A.N.

I am human. We are all human. What exactly does it mean to be human? I was thinking about this one day as I was pondering all the changes I’ve been making in my life in the last few years and I came up with an acronym for the word human. It is: 

Hasty

Undesirable

Missteps

Are

Normal

When a person decides to make long-term changes it doesn’t always go smoothly. As a matter of fact, it rarely goes smoothly. When a person has habits that they’ve been living with for years, it isn’t easy to change them and it doesn’t happen overnight. I am living proof of this. I have realized that no matter how perfect I want to be and no matter how determined I am, I will experience times when I make hasty undesirable missteps. I also realized this is perfectly normal.

In October 2004 I made a commitment to change and live a different lifestyle from any way I’d EVER lived before. I decided I wanted to lose weight and in order to do that I knew I was going to have to do two things 1) eat differently and 2) exercise consistently. Exercise hadn’t been a part of my life for several years, but as I was growing up I loved playing sports. I was the only girl in my high school that took P.E. classes after the required class our freshman year. I’m proud to say I took P.E. all four years and I loved every minute of it! So even though I had not been exercising I knew I wouldn’t have a hard time working it into my life because I knew I’d enjoy it. Eating on the other hand was a different story. Prior to 2004, I don’t ever remember eating healthy. Sure, I ate healthy foods, but I ate a LOT of junk. Healthy eating was going to be the challenge for me. However, I was so determined to lose weight that I managed to change my eating habits. I ate using the divided plate method. I ate normal sized portions of protein, high fiber carbohydrates, plenty of vegetables and some fruit and dairy. For the most part I avoided junk food. I lost 40 pounds in 14 months. I was so happy, but I was human!

From 2006 to 2012 I continued on my journey with a lot of H.U.M.A.N. episodes. I never really gave up on the healthy lifestyle/losing weight, but I definitely had my periods of time when I didn’t exercise consistently or my eating habits weren’t so good and I gained some of my weight back. In June 2012 I had an “ah ha” moment. It was the moment I decided I REALLY wanted to seriously get back to this journey of living a healthy lifestyle. At that point I was experiencing a lot of fatigue, which was totally abnormal for me. I was tired of being tired. I had begun eating a paleo diet (NF: The Beginner's Guide to The Paleo Diet) to see if that would help and although I found this to be a way of eating that I really enjoyed it didn’t seem to be helping my fatigue issues. So on June 16, 2012 I redoubled my effort and I haven’t stopped since. Now that is not to say in the last year and a half I haven’t had some H.U.M.A.N. episodes because I have.

I realized something, no matter how long I’m doing this I will always have H.U.M.A.N. episodes because, well, because I’m human! Each and every time I have a H.U.M.A.N. episode I could see it as a failure or I can say, hasty undesirable missteps are human and it’s not the end of the world. It doesn’t mean that I can’t pick up where I left off before the H.U.M.A.N. episode and move on with my life. After all, what is one H.U.M.A.N. episode in the whole scheme of your life? I am a huge fan of the Nerd Fitness site and Steve has a post about this very thing. It’s titled “GetThe **** Over It.”

Being H.U.M.A.N. means that even with the best of intentions, sometimes you just do something that isn’t perfect. Let me ask you this question. Do you know anyone who is 100% perfect? No. Hmmm, that doesn’t surprise me. No one is perfect. So then, why is it that when we decide to make some changes to live a healthier life we expect ourselves to be perfect? Stop, stop right now! Stop expecting yourself to be perfect and then beating yourself up when you have a H.U.M.A.N. episode. After all, we are all human. All of us need to realize hasty undesirable missteps are normal.

I will leave you with this one thought. When you have done something that you consider to be a failure, I want you to think of one thing. What would you say to a person who came to you with the same issue? For example, since the beginning of December I have been eating very healthy. Then about two-three weeks ago I let the number on the scale depress me and I ate some junk one day. One day turned into two days, and now I’ve gone about 3 weeks with eating more junk than I’d had in two months. I could get really down on myself and say “You’re such a failure. You won’t ever get this right. You’re doomed and you will NEVER get to your goal weight.”  Or, I could think about what I’d say to someone else who had experienced the same thing. This is what I’d probably say to them, “Hey, I understand. It’s okay. Think about how many good days you had in that 2 ½ months vs. the number of bad days. The good days far outweigh the bad days. Also, you were doing some awesome workouts and you never let those go. You can do this. You hit a little speed bump and it knocked you off your bike. Get back on and get going again, you can do it!” So if I’m willing to cheer up someone else with positive and encouraging words, why must I kick myself, making myself feel worse than I already do? The point is, I shouldn’t! I should treat myself with as much respect and encouragement as I do my fellow man/woman because we, myself included, are all H.U.M.A.N.

Crab Stuffed Mushrooms: New Recipe of the Week #8

Well it stands to reason if you are trying 52 new recipes in one year some of them are bound to turn out "not so good." The Crab Stuffed Mushrooms I made for tonight's Super Bowl gathering definitely fall into this category.

I got the recipe from Against All Grains. This is the first recipe from that site that I haven't really cared for. I made this recipe especially for my darling hubby because he likes mushrooms. I thought it would be a nice surprise for him. He was surprised all right, surprised by an overly fishy tasting mushroom that he didn't care for either. No one that tried these liked them. They were too "fishy." I don't know if all crab meat has a very strong flavor, but even as these were baking the fish smell was overpowering. I have had crab legs before and I like them so I thought I would at least find these tolerable. However, the fishy smell was so overpowering I didn't even try them.

  The crab stuffed mushrooms were easy to make and one I would be willing to make again, with some adjustments. The next time I try these I will be using chopped shrimp instead of crab meat. I think I'll change up the main part of the filling too. I'll be looking online for the filling used in crab rangoons. I'll add some shrimp to it, fill the mushrooms with it and see what happens.